The conversation about moving your loved one to a memory care facility is probably among the hardest conversations that you will ever have in your life, especially if your loved one is in denial and unwilling to accept that the care you are able to provide is no longer enough, no longer suitable for ensuring their safety and well-being. Most people suffering from memory impairment have a hard time accepting that they need around the clock supervision and they hold on to their independence and most primary caretakers have a hard time coping with their strong emotions related to the process. In such a difficult, sensitive situation, you should expect tension, refusal, denial and other strong emotions, but you might be able to make the conversation about the move less painful with these tips.
Find the Right Time and Place
Finding the best moment for a difficult conversation is never easy, but it is essential, nevertheless. Try to initiate the conversation in the morning – people with memory impairment are usually more collaborative in the morning, less prone to become tense and agitated.
The right place is also important – have the conversation in the room that your loved one knows and likes and make sure that they are comfortable, not feeling cold, hot, not in pain, maybe comfortably seated in their favorite armchair.
Try to Get Support
Handling the conversation on your own might be extremely hard – try to make it easier by enlisting help from your loved one’s old friends or from other family members that your loved one has a close relationship with. If you can find such help, talk to your helper before bringing up the sensitive subject with your loved one and try to figure out the strategy to follow, anticipating your loved one’s arguments and formulating your own arguments. You might also try to get help from a Senior Living Castle Rock medical professional, or some other doctor that your loved one respects, such as the primary doctor or a nurse – an opinion coming from a respected expert might make the conversation much easier.
Tips for Handling the Conversation
Body language and your actual words are equally important during the conversation. Your meta-communication will have an effect on your loved one, keep eye contact without staring and try to adopt a relaxed posture – that way, you can probably induce some relaxation in the others, too.
During your arguments, you should keep telling your loved one that you are listening to their arguments and that those arguments are important for you, but so is your loved one’s safety and well-being. Try to highlight the best features of the move – if your loved one used to enjoy nature, describe the facility’s park or the view from the rooms, whatever can make that place more attractive. Also emphasize how Senior Living Castle Rock professional care can improve their well-being, how they will be taken care of, but also how they will be able to have freedom and time for themselves, too. Try to ask as many questions as you can to find out about hidden concerns and try to address those concerns in a calm, logical manner.
It is very important not to expect a positive answer the first time around. Give your loved one time to process the change and come back to the topic in a short while.